From Yale to Jail

A thirty something Ivy Leaguer keeps the public aware of her opinions on things topical and struggles with multiple demons: alcohol, the law and remaining effortlessly hip in a changing world.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

You're So Money and You Don't Even Know It

My sister keeps yelling at me because I do not update my blog often enough. I have a lot to say when posting comments on the blogs of others. I can spend twenty minutes at Conversations about Famous People (I have never learned how to link without posting the whole URL. Please leave instructions in the "Comments" section.) I just do not much to say about myself right now. I am not quite comfortably numb. I haven't had a drink in a while but my rainbow combination of psychotropics gives my psyche a pedicure. Sloughs off the rough edges. In the 12 and 12 of AA, a line addresses losing your personality by submitting to a higher power. Something along the lines of becoming like "the hole in the donut". God, sober drunks love their donuts. The simile is no accident. I have submitted, not to God, or AA, but to pharmacology. I have lost my effervescence. I have been an Ivy League slut, addict, fascist, liberal, alcoholic, stripper (one amateur night-hey, it counts! You try removing a thong in front of fifty people in four inch heels while drunk!), housewife, psycho...but all my books have been written by someone else. When I was wheeling around the country drunk and looking for a fix in a fifee piece, I was exciting and excited. As much as I may know it is not true, I still believe there is something glittering and glamorous about being wasted by 10am. A mess, but I came to each morning thinking, no, knowing, that anything could happen.


  • At 6:31 AM, Blogger swirlogirl said…

    i have no idea how i became addicted to conversations, but i won't be ashamed to admit it. now, where do i get my donuts?

  • At 6:56 AM, Blogger bikipatra said…

    I sometimes hope that Distressed doesn't have a tracker. She could tell how many times a day I check her blog! She might put out a restaining order.

  • At 7:48 AM, Blogger Matmat said…

    I think you are more exciting without a drink!!!! Your mind id more numbed by alcohol than anything. All in the perception my dear!!! Your mind is great. You are one of the smartest people I know aside from our dear Mama! Love this blog. I get to know you better here than anywhere else.

  • At 10:31 AM, Blogger Pink Lemonade Diva said…

    I just spent entire lunch hour on the site - can't believe I've never heard of it before. Such wit over there, thank you!

  • At 11:05 AM, Blogger swirlogirl said…

    oh and to make a link you want to put the appropriate code around the phrase Conversations About Famous People... to avoid blogger actually posting this as a link, i'll use parentheses where < or > should actually be used.

    (a href="")Conversations About Famous People(/a)

    I hope that helps. and I hope it doesn't render something weird when i post.

  • At 8:06 PM, Blogger LilRed said…

    Any time you can work a line from "Swingers" into a title for your post, well, let's just say I'm impressed! Keep rockin'!

  • At 1:21 AM, Blogger n.v. said…

    Bixter, I always thought your former-drunk persona was for effect. Are you truly a recovering addict? I admire you either way - your style, humour...but if this is real honesty, I admire you even more.

    PS Distressed does have a tracker. I check her blog about 10 times per day.

  • At 9:39 PM, Blogger Heath said…

    A) I'm [frequently] sober and I've never liked donuts. They're for vegans that don't know what donuts are fried in.

    B) I have no clue what a fifee is...I even googled it. :(

    C) I've been drunk at 10am before...but I'm sure I wasn't glittering nor glamorous.

    D) True...anything can true that I have an interview tomorrow to be a male escort...and I'm about as average and boring as it gets. :o

  • At 7:22 AM, Blogger bikipatra said…

    Heath, I think you have to actually go to meetings to start jonesing for donuts and cake. A fifee is ebonics for a "fifty piece" of crack cocaine. A "fohtee" is not an illicit drug but a "forty ounce" bottle of malt liquor.

  • At 8:32 AM, Blogger SagaciousDemon said…

    swirlogirl gave you the appropriate html tags, but I thought I would give you links to sites that I like for quick html help:

    - HTML Code Tutorial and
    - W3Schools HTML Tutorial

    Oh, and I am not affiliated with either of them in any way!

  • At 4:37 PM, Blogger lauritajuanitasanchez said…

    OK...this is what I do. When writing your entry, drag the word (or highlight it with your mouse...I don't know what the propper verbage is here). Then go to the menu bar at the top of your post. There's this green icon that looks like the Swamp thing. Click on that. A box will come up. Then delete "http://" and paste your link in that spot. That way the word or phrase you highlighted will become your link.

    Gotta check out if I don't waste enough time blogging!!! HA!

  • At 10:09 PM, Blogger Roberto Iza Valdes said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 2:20 PM, Blogger Girly Girl said…

    If you want over 18 adults only dating then Swinger Dating is the site for you. Totally free too :)


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